Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Sore throat

I get paranoid when I get a sore throat, its always worse than it should be and it always freaks me out. I've got a mild cold, so of course my glands are swollen and I feel it more than most due to the lack of fatty tissue...but there was a strange sensation yesterday where my throat had some kind of spasm and I felt pain while being unable to swallow for a few but seemingly prolonged seconds.

It passed, but throat is still sore and swallowing a bit strange...will wait and see if it goes when the cold passes...I must avoid getting paranoid when something "might" be be sure that something "is" wrong.

stupid cancer induced paranoia!!!!

Monday, 16 April 2012

1 anniversary done, 2nd not so nice, but progress

Not much happening on the doctor front till next appointment in May, but April is a significant month for my cancer diary.

This April 6th was the 2 year anniversary of my diagnosis...what a whirlwind day that was...not one I want to repeat. April 27 coming up is the anniversary of the actual surgery...again what a day. Not sure if I want to have a party or celebrate it in some way...we'll see what mood I am in.

But 2 years on there has been some major developments...I had a Madras curry last night!!!! I did...really!

And it did not have me crying on the floor begging for death. Until quite recently eating anything with chillies was a no-no, which for me as an avid lover of spicey food was almost a fate worse than death.

It wasn't the burn, which is what we all love about chillies, it was pain, sheer screaming I'm on fire, please kill me now, PAIN! Which I assume we can put down to scar tissue in my mouth which has been over sensitive to the burn and not settled down.

But its been getting less and less sensitive, and yesterday for the 1st time in around 2 years, I actually had a proper hot spicy Madras curry, my favourite flavour curry..I was sweating and my mouth was burning of course, as it should, but most important, it wasn't true pain, I moved past the burn to get the chillie high..I managed to eat it all, and loved every spicy mouthful.

I'm alive again ;)