Some Self image issues

One thing that I have not considered these last few months, is the way people view me, I know from looking at my handsome face in the shaving mirror that a few things are out of place and not quite as they were. But its not worried me much, Bina hasn't cowered in fear in a corner when I look at her so it can't be that bad.

But something happened today that, shook me, and has continued to nag at me since. I teach programming here in Holland, most of the time to programming students, but I am doing a block where I am teaching artists some coding basics....

Artists being artists they tend to doodle, so when one of my students came up to me after a lecture to tell me she'd drawn me I was curious to see.

It was a nice sketch, very recognisable, right down to the lop sided grin and lumpy jaw and asymetrical face....Kind of a good looking Quasimodo.

Like I say a nice sketch, honest and accurate but...is that how I look, is that what people see? Not how I thought I looked, I never really considered that I might have a facial disfigurement, however mild, and the nature of a sketch is to highlight features, but it wasn't a caracature, its how I am now! Well it has thrown me, quite a curve.

I need to have a long think about how I feel about this, I've never ever been a vain person, but to realise my features have changed so much is a bit of a shocker and something I need to come to terms with somehow...

Something to ponder on indeed.