One thing that I have not considered these last few months, is the way people view me, I know from looking at my handsome face in the shaving mirror that a few things are out of place and not quite as they were. But its not worried me much, Bina hasn't cowered in fear in a corner when I look at her so it can't be that bad.
But something happened today that, shook me, and has continued to nag at me since. I teach programming here in Holland, most of the time to programming students, but I am doing a block where I am teaching artists some coding basics....
Artists being artists they tend to doodle, so when one of my students came up to me after a lecture to tell me she'd drawn me I was curious to see.
It was a nice sketch, very recognisable, right down to the lop sided grin and lumpy jaw and asymetrical face....Kind of a good looking Quasimodo.
Like I say a nice sketch, honest and accurate but...is that how I look, is that what people see? Not how I thought I looked, I never really considered that I might have a facial disfigurement, however mild, and the nature of a sketch is to highlight features, but it wasn't a caracature, its how I am now! Well it has thrown me, quite a curve.
I need to have a long think about how I feel about this, I've never ever been a vain person, but to realise my features have changed so much is a bit of a shocker and something I need to come to terms with somehow...
Something to ponder on indeed.
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Give yourself something else to think about! I didn't notice much difference to your face at all and I'm your Mother! I've had a lot of years looking at your face and I'm just so grateful that you have come as far as you have. So find some other trifle to fret about, better still....stop fretting!
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ReplyDeleteyes mum.
Ive been noticing myself in photo's more.. I see that side of my face droop all the way to my eye.. then I talked in the mirror tonight and just noticed how different it seems at least to me how my face moves
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