eek telling total strangers why I am sad.

I have had something of a setback in my depression, I got very upset at the weekend and am totally unable to shake feelings of betrayal and intrusion that resulted, which are making me incredibly stressed, sad and generally feeling very dark, listless and uncommunicative.

Logically I know there's no real harm done and people had my interests at heart but but the mind is not happy and its making its point. I genuinely feel shocking and unable to focus on much more than my guitar playing...though I am focing myself to get my work admin done so I can relax when its complete.

Doc wants me to take the tranqs more to settle down my highly increased feelings of anxiety and stress and to generally calm down. I'm keeping more to myself as I know I am grumpy and emotionally unstable and Bina is pissed with me which I can't really cope with.
And the clincher...gotta go see a psycologist, the doc is going to set it up. I've had counselling in the past for depression, though that was more life/situation based so we'll have to see how this works for situations where there is a tangible physical reason for the emotional turmoil that follows.

Still though, its apparently a quite normal if not 100% common, post treatment kind of issue from major surgery and cancer treatment...but damn, it feels a bit like I'm on a loony wagon and can't jump off.

And no booze while I'm on the pills...being depressed really really sucks!! The only time I feel totally normal is when I am in social situcations and the pills stop that.