Hello

I've discussed aspects of my cancer fun in my main blog, but it didn't seem to me to be 100% appropriate to discuss bad shit like cancer in what is essentially a fun blog.

So here we go an all new blog to track the journey I thought was over but is in fact just beginning..prepare to be depressed.

In case you can't be bothered to look at the main blog (I don't blame you, the spelling alone is enough to give most people a fit) here's a brief recap.

April 6th I was diagnosed with Oral cancer, after a visit to the dentist to investigate what I thought was an ulcer that had become infected..a subsequent biopsy by the jaw surgeon revealed it was in fact malignant..

April 27th I had a partial jaw resection to remove it, quite a nasty 5 hour op, but I was actually quite pleased since it wasn't the horrific 15hour full resection I had initially expected...6 days in hospital, the 1st 2 of which were pain killer free watching the worlds slowest clock tick tock tick tock......it stopped twice as well....thought I'd died the 1st time....

May 18th I had a visit to the outpatients clinic to be told...nothing, the pathology results had not come though

May 20th though I got a call the doctor saying all was fine, that there was a minor issue with the margin of error not being quite big enough but they would watch that and snip it out if it came back, 23 lymph nodes were removed and all clear...I was effectively cancer free

Yipee!!!

May 26th .....Doctor called again, my path results were double checked by the specialist team in Utrecht...the minor margin of error issue was actually 2 minor margins of error and that was unacceptable...but much worse..the cancer had in fact been detected in one lymph node.

In other words...they missed a bit.

FUCK!

yes I said fuck, its one of those words that people tend to overuse, me especially as a Scot its almost used as punctuation, but in this exact situation it is in fact the most apt word possible. I could perhaps also say Fuckity fuck...but I need to maintain the seriousness of the situation.


So...Surgery failed, it only managed to remove the main tumour, there are however cancer cells floating around in my lymph system waiting to find a new home to cause future issues...oh and the margin of error needs sorting out.

Or are there? This is the crux of everything now...frankly there's no way to tell, the metastasis was very small (small enough to be missed) but the problem is the lymph system, especially in the head and neck is vast, and they just took a random sample of nodes in the area of the tumour. Its just not possible to say if just that 1 tiny node was infected, which means I'm clear 'cos it was removed, or if there are others that were not removed with equally tiny traces, but which will grow. Stats would suggest however, if you have it in 1, its going to be somewhere else, so my cancer clear status is gone...I have to deal with this now.

Today we made a gawdawful trip to Utrecht Medical University to see the radiologist, to discuss the plan of attack, 2 trains and a bus, best part of 2 hours...

At this point the plan is to nuke the remains of the tumour site from orbit, its the only way to be sure, and also to gently fry the rest of my neck for 6 weeks to kill off any cancer hiding away in my remaining lymph glands.

Bina (my other half) and I spent 40-50 mins with the radiologist and his assistant quizzing him on exactly what they were planning, why they were planning it and what the after effects are..oh and why the hell do we have to have it done in Utrecht. I think the poor fella was a bit unprepared for the waves of questions that came his way.

When done though it was clear to me that I have to have this..I "could", not do it, and toss the dice to see if the cancer comes back or not, but it seems clear from the discussion the chances are it will come back and perhaps next time it'll do the job properly.. RT has side effects of course, mostly short term, but some long term (I still want to clarify those) but I have agreed to go forward with it.

However since this is going to be 5 days a week for 6 weeks, I'm not very happy at the idea of travelling to Utrecht, so the doctor as agreed to ask the hospital in Tilburg, if they can handle it. Tilburg is the next town from us and a much shorter trip. We should hear soon if that can be done.


So..round 4 (I described rounds 1-3 in the other blog) starts probably next week.


I'll keep you posted.